The Sloth of Life
My plan has begun. I saw a grotesquely obese man walking down the sidewalk and chose to follow him for the day to see his life as it was. The first thing that I noticed is how he repulsed every living soul that he passed. Most people would step aside as he passed, to give themselves as much room as possible so they would not have his vile body touch them. But some were much more animated and remorseless. After he would pass them, some would turn around and hold their nose or wave their hand in front of their faces. One street slut actually shouted at him head to the local fire station to be hosed off.
Being across the street I could not tell the intensity of the sloth's odor. But as I crossed the street to get closer to the beast, a pregnant woman pushing a stroller approached him. As they came to the same spot on the sidewalk, the pregnant woman, who was watching him with the utmost disgust upon her face as she approached, vomited directly onto the sloth's pants and shoes.
'You smell so dis...'. She retched again and proceeded to vomit upon the stroller that she was pushing, causing the infant inside to cry.
'Oh my god...look what you made me do!' she screamed after spitting and wiping the remaining vomit out of her mouth. She picked up the wailing infant and tried to console it.
'Get awa..' she started and once again threw up, this time on the building next to her. All the while, the obese man said nothing. He merely looked at her like this was normal and started walking away.
I slowly began to realize that something loud was billowing in my ear. I turned and saw a yellow hood with bright eyes blazing at me, angrily honking. I had been so enthralled with the sloth's plight that I had stopped in the middle of the street.
'Get the fuck out of the street, dickwad!' I heard it say, or rather, the obtuse man sticking his head out of the window say. I looked up through the windshield of the taxi and locked the eyes with the man who had just stuck his head back inside the vehicle. Fear. Fear in the man's eyes shone brightly as I made my way to the drivers door and put my hand upon the windshield, never looking away from his eyes.
'Do you have a problem?' I asked when I stopped at his door window. He began to roll up his window and I put my other hand on the glass as it rolled up, leaving four red wet lines upon it. Almost before the window was completely closed, the man noticed the red lines on his window. He stopped rolling up the window and stared at the blood I had left and then looked out his windshield, that too covered in my blood.
'You crazy motherfucker.' he muttered fearfully and then sped away, nearly hitting a car that had double parked farther up the block. I watched him round the corner and continued to the sidewalk, the car behind the departed taxi waiting for me to cross.
I thought for sure that the sloth had disappeared but was surprised to find him only half a block away. I am amazed at how time can pass in different speeds. My meeting with the taxi driver felt that it had taken an hour, but had only taken seconds. I stood in front of the spot that the woman and sloth had shared, looking down and seeing two small splashes of vomit, one of which had footprints leading away and the other with wheel marks leading the other direction. I crouched down and ran my wrapped finger, soaked in blood, through the footprinted vomit. I stood and turned to followed the vomitus footprints, clearly seeing the sloth ahead as the crowd parted at his arrival.....
Being across the street I could not tell the intensity of the sloth's odor. But as I crossed the street to get closer to the beast, a pregnant woman pushing a stroller approached him. As they came to the same spot on the sidewalk, the pregnant woman, who was watching him with the utmost disgust upon her face as she approached, vomited directly onto the sloth's pants and shoes.
'You smell so dis...'. She retched again and proceeded to vomit upon the stroller that she was pushing, causing the infant inside to cry.
'Oh my god...look what you made me do!' she screamed after spitting and wiping the remaining vomit out of her mouth. She picked up the wailing infant and tried to console it.
'Get awa..' she started and once again threw up, this time on the building next to her. All the while, the obese man said nothing. He merely looked at her like this was normal and started walking away.
I slowly began to realize that something loud was billowing in my ear. I turned and saw a yellow hood with bright eyes blazing at me, angrily honking. I had been so enthralled with the sloth's plight that I had stopped in the middle of the street.
'Get the fuck out of the street, dickwad!' I heard it say, or rather, the obtuse man sticking his head out of the window say. I looked up through the windshield of the taxi and locked the eyes with the man who had just stuck his head back inside the vehicle. Fear. Fear in the man's eyes shone brightly as I made my way to the drivers door and put my hand upon the windshield, never looking away from his eyes.
'Do you have a problem?' I asked when I stopped at his door window. He began to roll up his window and I put my other hand on the glass as it rolled up, leaving four red wet lines upon it. Almost before the window was completely closed, the man noticed the red lines on his window. He stopped rolling up the window and stared at the blood I had left and then looked out his windshield, that too covered in my blood.
'You crazy motherfucker.' he muttered fearfully and then sped away, nearly hitting a car that had double parked farther up the block. I watched him round the corner and continued to the sidewalk, the car behind the departed taxi waiting for me to cross.
I thought for sure that the sloth had disappeared but was surprised to find him only half a block away. I am amazed at how time can pass in different speeds. My meeting with the taxi driver felt that it had taken an hour, but had only taken seconds. I stood in front of the spot that the woman and sloth had shared, looking down and seeing two small splashes of vomit, one of which had footprints leading away and the other with wheel marks leading the other direction. I crouched down and ran my wrapped finger, soaked in blood, through the footprinted vomit. I stood and turned to followed the vomitus footprints, clearly seeing the sloth ahead as the crowd parted at his arrival.....

